Emperor George II  

Nice tie...

Well, this is a funny one...
When I saw these come out around Christmas of 2002, I searched ebay for them and no one had them in stock, all sold out. So, I went directly to the source: the distributor ships from Irvine, CA, which is near where I live. I emailed and arranged a buy of an entire case of this despicable toy. Yep, a case of 26 of them. I ended up selling most of them on ebay to recoup my cost and make a little extra, and was able to keep 6 of them, to do with as I pleased.
The board inside of George II is very simple. It is a glob chip with one resistor, a transistor, and a contact switch to trigger one of 17 different phrases like "We're working hard to put food on the family," "I will not yield, I will not rest, I will not relent in waging the struggle for freedom and security for the 'Merican people," and "I come from Texas!"
So, there wasn't much that I could do to it, but something had to be done. I was able to add an optical resistor to slow the pitch way down on his speech, which made him sound even more like a drunkard. When using a flashy-flashy LED on the optical resistor (mounted on his head inside the Burger King crown) you can control the amount of drunken noisiness that comes out.

George's Burger King crown--appropriately broken and fixed with scotch tape. He just won't give it up...
I also added LEDs in his eyes attached to the speaker output so his eyes flash red when he "speaks."

George's back. Announcing to the world his "status" in our new imperialist monarchy.

Where George really shines, unlike the "real" George, is under his clothes. I was able to fit a DPDT switch where his "penis" should be (to re-trigger the samples and to loop) and a 1/8" output where his "anus" should be.
It was a tight fit.

The funniest part is when you plug George into a mixer for amplification, you have to pull his pants down and shove the minijack up his ass! That'll teach him!

Here is the "Big Red Button" permanently glued to George's hand so he can press it night or day. It controls his Power.

George got a tattoo after he was "elected" to thank his Dad for getting him a really neat job.
Notice the optical resistor attached to his head. In the final version, a smaller one was used.

A full frontal nude shot of George. He's still shit-eatin' grinnin'. He sure ain't bashful!

George's guts. Not much to him. I expect the "real" George to have something similar inside him too.

Completed: March 2003
Dimensions: 12" tall, but small on the inside
Current Status:

Similar to the "real" George, Emperor George II is currently not functioning in the proper sense of the word.

Audio Bits:

EGII_ComeTexas.mp3 George apparently comes from "Texas" and ain't afraid to tell you.
EGII_FamilyPride.mp3 And he believes in "Family Pride."
EGII_FoundationOfMerica.mp3 The foundation of 'Merica will not be shaken.
EGII_FreedomAttack.mp3 Faceless cowards attacking freedom.
EGII_GeorgeW.mp3 A shameless comparison with himself and George Washington.
EGII_HelpUsGod.mp3 Help us, somebody.
EGII_Labels.mp3 George really just cares about performance, not "labels." On his clothes?
EGII_NationHostile.mp3 Terrorists holding our nation hostile. Or something...
EGII_NotYield.mp3 Just to prove that he "will not yeild" nor relent in waging war.